Adventurous April

Sunday, December 30, 2012

New Year's Resolutions? Get Real!

Over the past couple of weeks I have found myself possessed by a growing spirit of rebellion.  I'm finding myself willing to throw several things "under the bus" so to speak.  For some reason, they do not seem to matter so much anymore. 


So, here comes the New Year and the resolutions everyone seems to assume that you will make (and eventually break, given human nature).  People inquire, as a matter of general conversation, "What are YOUR resolutions this year?" 


"Nothing."


Stunned silence.  Lifted eyebrows.  A disbelieving, "Nothing?"


Yuppers.  Nothing.  No resolutions here.  No lofty goals.  No magnificent aspirations.  Zip.  Nada.  Zero.


Oh, the horror!  No goals?  Inconceivable!  (Don't you just LOVE The Princess Bride?  I do.)


Am I committing to accomplishing nothing?  To making no growth?  To making no changes?  Apparently this is what many believe.  I may as well announce myself as a sluggard and bum in the eyes of some of my friends.  I seriously think one in particular thinks I am just short of joining the forces of Satan.  Doesn't matter.  No resolutions for me!  No goals.  No aspirations.


I should probably insert dramatic and ominous music here, as that's the response my admission is getting from my very goal oriented friends and acquaintances.  Sorry, my resolve (ironic ... isn't it) is firm.  I resolve not to resolve. 


For once I don't want to begin a new year with a check list in hand - a check list that will define me and control me, and eventually condemn me.  Don't wanna do it, so I am not.  I'm just going to move into 2013 a rudderless craft sure to end up broken on the threatening shores (according to my buds).  That's okay.  I don't need that list.  I know where I'm going and I know what I want.  This year I'm going to move ahead without that checklist.  I'm going to concentrate more on living my life than fulfilling a list of goals.  I came to the conclusion that checking things (and people) off on a list of goals and projects is NOT how I want to live my life.  I want to move forward this year choosing to do what is right because it is right.  I want to be consumed heart and soul by the choices I make regarding what I do and what I devote my time to.  Life isn't a checklist, and I don't want to be defined by one.

Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Sandy Hook Broke My Heart

I couldn't post before.  I just couldn't.  I have cried more in the last week than I have in the last five years.  My heart was absolutely ripped to pieces over this atrocity.


As a teacher, this has been especially hard for me.  It hits close to home.  Way too close.  When I was driving to school on the 17th (with a great deal of trepidation - I admit), the radio station I was listening to dedicated Kurt Bestor's "Prayer of the Children" to the victims.  I sobbed.  This was especially powerful, because my daughter's dance group danced to this song when she was close to the age of those sweet babies who were gunned down.  I was a mess when I got to work.


We met as a faculty before school started to discuss new safety procedures we would institute immediately ... classroom doors locked 24/7, ID checks for anyone wishing access to the school, forbidding parents from trying to get students off the buses while they were being loaded, etc.  Our school is one of the safest in the district, with controlled access and fire doors that can section off (and lock off) parts of our very large school.  However, facing the type of military grade firearms people have access to these days, you feel totally vulnerable.  As one teacher said, "Given the right weapon, they could blow out a wall."


When I walked into my classroom I was hit again.  Looking around my classroom, I immediately visualized how we hide during a lockdown.  My imagination took over and played out our own version of Sandy Hook.  I nearly threw up, visualizing my own students in danger.  I thought about those teachers and administrators who lost their lives.  I hope that those teachers felt valued by their community before they were called upon to make that ultimate sacrifice.  I thought about how the teachers in our state have been villified, demonized, and degraded.  Yet, the parents writing letters to the editor or commenting on the internet felt that it was the teachers' duty to keep the children safe and that they should be expected to die defending them.  I sincerely pray that those six teachers felt they were appreciated and respected for the job they did everyday.


I worried as the time ticked by for the children's arrival.  Would they be afraid?  How could I reassure them?  There were no ready answers, but I found I didn't need any.  When the children arrived at school, their faces were not marked by fear.  They were filled with the same youthful exuberance and anticipation of Christmas which they'd left  with the previous Friday.  I saw trust in those eyes.  But most importantly, I saw hope.  Instead of helping my children, they ended up helping me.  I had lost a great deal of hope for this world of ours ... they reminded me that where there is life, there is hope.  They also reminded me that, while evil may have its day, good will win out in the end.


Now the debate rages about how to protect our schools and our children.  It will cost money, and no one want to hear that.  Should we arm teachers?  I don't see myself as Rambo, and I am not arrogant enough to believe that I could handle a situation that trained professionals find difficult.  So far, the only "solution" voiced that really struck any kind of chord with me was to have National Guardsmen or veterans stationed in our schools.  These are people who are trained to deal with high risk, life-or-death situations.  We don't have enough policemen to cover every school in America, but we do have enough members of our armed forces.  Frankly, I think protecting our schools is far more important than maintaining a presence in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq, etc.  If Americans truly value their children, it's time for them to prove it.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

My daughter is a dancer. I hate dance!



Okay, anyone who knows me or has been reading this blog for any period of time would probably say, "What do you mean? You love dance! You work for the studio. You do costumes. You drive ballerinas to classes and intensives all year. You support your daughter in everything she does. How can you say you hate dance?"


It's December.
 
 
Any dance mom would respond, "Oh. Well of course. That explains everything. December. Yeah. That's the pits." For the rest of you ... here's a little background.
 
 
December is probably the biggest performance month of the year. Not only are dancers doing huge performances of The Nutcracker, A Christmas Carol, Amahl and the Night Visitors, or any of a thousand themed recitals ... there are also tons of community events that said dancers are invited to perform at. Gotta share those talents. Gotta promote the studio. It's a huge time committment.
 
 
The ballerina in question is now dancing 25+ hours a week. This week the total was 32 hours. This is in addition to school (and her junior high thinks that December is the month for big projects - oh, how I hate them), and life in general. This weekend I haven't seen my daughter since Saturday at 9 am, when I dropped her off at rehearsal. It is now Sunday afternoon. The girls decided to have a dance sleepover so they could celebrate one of the dancer's birthday PLUS get to the studio to work on sets today. I admire her work ethic. I really do.
 
 
But, I hate dance.
 
 
It's the holidays. I yearn to do all those family traditions. She's at dance. The church youth group has holiday activities scheduled. She's at dance. Her non-dancing friends want her to come to support them at concerts and performances. She's at dance. Her room/bathroom is about to become a Super Fund Cleanup Site. She's at dance. We want to watch some holday movies. She's at dance. We want to decorate the house. She's at dance. We want to make Christmas goodies for our neighbors and family. She's at dance. Today I gathered two loads of laundry from her bedroom floor. Get the idea? I want my daughter back.
 
 
Okay, I know that come December 15th, I will be one of the proudest moms at their performance. My daughter is not just a dancer anymore, she's one of the studio principles, AND she also is a teaching assistant. This is a new production, which easily quadrupled the work load of putting it on. If I am being honest, I must admit to myself that my case of dance resentment is a result of what is going on in our family as well. During the past five weeks I have taken my sister to the ER three times and my mother twice. As the primary caretaker for both of them, I am feeling overwhelmed. Dance has robbed me of my best helper, and quite frankly one of the few rays of sunshine to be had lately. Dance is also becoming a metaphor for my daughter growing up and away from me, which is something I am struggling with at the moment.

 
Do I really hate dance? No, because it's my daughter's passion and she loves it. When she steps out on the boards next Saturday, my heart will explode in pride. However, there's still going to be that selfish little mom in my heart screaming "Bring on December 16th! I want my baby back!" So, until then I will just keep plugging away as "support staff." But from December 16th to January 2nd, she is MINE! MINE! MINE!


Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving


Happy Thanksgiving All!
 


I am so grateful for so many things.  Today I'm going to be specific though.  I am thankful for a chance to step away from the world.  That's right, I will not be joining all those folks already queing up at stores all over town.  I think today should be a time to celebrate being thankful for what we have ... not focusing on acquiring more.  Call me the "anti-consumer" if you wish, but that is how I feel.  I think it's criminal that Thanksgiving has been usurped by Black Friday.  Absolutely shameful ... and I totally mean that. 

I am currently quite sick, so I have really appreciated a certain 14-year-old who has showed a great deal of compassion and helped me out.  The pies are done.  The turkey is stuffed and cooking.  The squash rolls are done.  The cranberries are currently bubbling in the pot (well on the way to being done).   All that remains is smashing potatoes and making my Mystic Seaport green/wax beans with a mustard sauce.  Our Thanksgiving is down to just our immediate family this year (thanks to Bailee and I being sick).  I'm trying to keep it simple ... and it has been a very good thing.  Thoreau had it right!

The sun is shining today (yesterday was cold and very windy).  There's still a stiff breeze, but nothing like yesterday.  I'd rather have a snowy day reminiscent of the days of my youth.  This makes travel easier, I know, so I won't grouse too much.  Still, I like it when winter weather wraps us up in a fluffy blanket and slows us down.  We need to slow down.  We need to stop running around and concentrate on what's right in front of us.  We forget that all too often.

So -  today is all about slowing down and appreciating the blessings of family.  I hope you have the opportunity to do the same.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

A Sigh of Relief

Just a quick note:

The education reforms in our state (Propositions 1, 2, and 3) went down in a crashing defeat on election day.  A mandate from the people of our state to go back and reformat reform that included input from all stakeholders.

A collective sigh of relief was given by one and all.

The hard work of reform now begins (with the first meeting of the Education Task Force being held this Wednesday), but I am thrilled that, this time around, everyone - from parents, to teachers, to students will have a voice.

Lake Wobegon Girl


I wasn't born in Minnesota ... but I consider myself a Minnesotan.  My parents (and a LONG line of ancestors) called Minnesota home.  Despite growing up in Montana (where my dad was transferred with the Northern Pacific Railroad), our parents raised us with Minnesotan sensibilities and all things Minnesota infused our daily life.  They sought out foods and products that were familiar.  Land O Lakes butter was a staple, and our mother was always on the lookout for Creamettes salad macaroni.
Tuna hotdish was a frequent item on the dinner menu, along with green jello and a variety of other casseroles. 
 
I never really thought much about it until our uncle treated us to a visit to a taping of "A Prairie Home Companion" when we went for a visit one summer.  This introduction to Lake Wobegon was like coming home.  It was a world I understood.  I "got" all the jokes.  I chuckled because my relatives could have been any one of the characters Garrison Keillor brought to life.
 
It has been a staple in my life ever since.  First, as a planned visit to NPR on Saturday evenings ... and later as tapes, books, and CDs.  Most recently, I discovered a phone app - NPR Life Culture which features News from Lake Wobegon.  Heaven!
 
So, if you'll excuse me ... I'm off for a visit to my second home, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all of the children are above average.  I may even eat a Powder Milk Biscuit while I'm at it! 



Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Daylight Savings Time - My Love/Hate Relationship

Time to fall back.  Some folks refer to the spring counterpart as "springing forward."  I refer to it as "falling forward."  On your face.  Hard.  I hate messing with the time.

So, you would think that I would love this time change.  I tolerate it better, but I still hate it.  I don't like seeing the sun set before 5:00 p.m.  It depresses me.  Of course, going to work when it is pitch dark out and kids are walking to school with flashlights is ridiculous too.  Lose-lose in my book.

Yup Cheri, whine and moan.  What's your solution?  Believe it or not, I have one.  A good one!  Give us every drop of light at night that we can get.  Don't fall back.  Okay?  That solves the whole sickeningly early sunset issue.

On the other end, don't mess with the clocks - change the schedules!  Let's all start work and school an hour later.  Perfection, right?  You know you secretly love the idea.  Sleep in an extra hour in the morning.  Go to work in the daylight.  Enjoy some extra daylight at night. 

Of course, no one listens to me.  Apparently Ben Franklin has more street cred than yours truly.  I still like my idea though ...

 
We all need a little more time to hibernate
during the winter!


Sunday, November 4, 2012

So What if These Education "Reforms" Pass

Our state is embroiled in a heavy debate regading education reform.  This reform was sprung on people out of the blue - no mention of it was made during the election of the state superintendent.  These three propositions basically did away with all master agreements between teachers and districts, striped them of tenure (and any other rights), allowed teachers to only discuss pay and benefits, introduced a merit pay system that had to be earned by teams (based on state test results) and could only be earned by teachers in certain areas (others need not apply), would provide laptops to all ninth graders, and would require students to take online classes in high school.

Teachers and parents have protested, because they were given no input on these reforms.  Hundreds traveled to the state capital to comment on these bills - but their voices were ignored.  Parents organized and spent months getting petitions signed to put the bills up for a vote.  They succeeded, and the propositions are now on the ballot.

To say that things have gotten ugly is an understatement.  Frank Vandersloot, the owner of Melaleuca, has led the charge against "union thugs who are trying to take over Idaho's education."  This thugs (the classroom teachers) have been accused of horrible things ... I just read a commentary that said the union thugs embraced bullying others, picketing businesses, and even said they were capable of murdering their opposition.  Whoa.  I didn't realize that kindergarten teacher with the puppets was worse than the Mafia!

I have been trying to understand why people are so hateful about this, and I can only come up with the notion that Mr. Vandersloot is so afraid of his own workers unionizing that he is fearful of any organized group of employees having any say at all.  Of course, most of the supporters of the Vote No group are parents, but they're probably pretty dangerous too.

I'm voting no because I believe teacher's should have a say in what goes on in their job.  We don't sign away our first amendment rights when we sign our teaching certificates.

I believe that merit pay should NOT be earned by teams or be based JUST on testing scores.  Every teacher should have an opportunity to earn this, and it should be based on frequent observations of teaching, student engagement, and the effort the teacher  puts into their work.  Testing can play a part, but it should not be the lion's share.  Would you want your worth based on one to four days of your year?  It should be fully and consistently funded (this go round they cut teacher pay to fund it - yes, I know that doesn't make any sense).

I am against the technology strand because it has been so poorly researched.  The state has refused to acknowledge the hidden costs beyond the laptops (no mention of the cost of site licenses, tech support, repair, wiring updates, docking stations for charging, internet support, extra servers, filtering for pornography and viruses, etc.)  The current deal with HP is to RENT the laptops, with the state bearing the liability of loss or breakage.  They are liable for $1100 per computer.  The $51 million price tag that was fed to the legislature last year, has now ballooned to $189 million - again, JUST for the laptops. 

I have no problem with making online classes available, but requiring them of all students is a mistake.  Hundreds of students who have taken online classes have come forward to talk about their experiences.  Some liked the option, while others had terrible experiences and either failed or felt they accomplished nothing.  The state complains about "one size fits all" education systems, but then turns around and tries to enforce the same on our students.  It is also suspicious that the state superintendent's chief election contributors were for profit online education companies. 

So ... what has it been like teaching under these laws for the past year?  Horrid.  The voices of teachers have been silenced.  My sister's district even imposed a gag order, forbidding the teachers to discuss or complain about the propositions with anyone (even one another) while on school property. They could not wear anything that could be interpreted as political, nor display anything politically related on their vehicles. We no longer have a say in anything.  We are dictated to.  Teacher's live in fear, because one false move or word could cost you your job.  You feel entirely vulnerable. 

My team performed very well on the state tests (with proficiency levels running from 90to 100%) with the exception of one teacher - who scored in the 70s.  This failure reflected on all of us and cost us dearly.  A bitter pill to swallow during these tough economic times ... and especially dire after five years of budget freezes and cuts.  It's hard to accept that 4 days dictates your value and future.  I also have a hard time accepting these multiple choice tests as a true representation of my student's ability.  In my opinion, the questions are poorly written and vague at times.  It is more important to me that my students are able to apply what they have learned to real life situations and problems.

My own daughter is balking at the prospect of taking online classes (how boring!) and is saying she will refuse to do so.  Okay, obviously she's been taught about Thoreau and civil disobedience by her junior high teachers. 

So ... what if the uber right, anti-union, anti teacher faction is successful and these laws are retained?  I am praying they are not.  Obviously, things will get even worse for teachers.  We've dared to stand up and oppose the state machine, and there's no doubt we will be punished for doing so (yes, sadly this has happened before, after teachers marched on the state capital.  An act of defiance we paid for  dearly).  Our best teachers will leave.  Many are already preparing to do so, just in case.  But what about me?  Let's make this personal.  One teacher ... one family.

I will leave teaching in this state.  I will qualify to retire under the Rule of 90, and I will take that option.  I had intended to teach 5-10 more years.  I love teaching.  Unfortunately, I no longer love teaching in the state of Idaho.  My gut reaction is to put the house up for sale and relocate our family to Washington state.  The only thing that stands in the way of this decision is my daughter's love for her friends and her dance studio.  She still has four more years of school.

I am concerned for my fellow teachers.  The level of stress teachers are under is horrific.  I have talked to many colleagues who are experiencing severe stress related illnesses and conditions.  When doctors are recommending "getting out of teaching" as a treatment, you have to acknowledge that something is very wrong.  As much as we love this profession, a job is not worth dying for.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

What the Heck! Where did the last few months go?

I get irritated when I am following a blog and people don't update ... for a month ... for months ... for an entire season, or two.  I'm sure you get the idea.  You check back, and there is the same old OLD news.  I hate it. 

And now I'm guilty.  As charged.  Lock me up.  Throw away the key.  Force me to blog.

Of course, like most guilty parties, I will scream out

"Please!  Let me explain!"
 
Sorry sister.  No excuses for you!
 

But, but, but ...
  • School started in August!  It was crazy demanding.  They added a ton of new programs and requirements.  I thought I would die.  I thought I would lose my mind.
  • My sister has been having trouble with kidney stones.  Ya gotta step up and help, right?
  • My mom is ... well, this is the harder one.  She's aging.  There are more physical issues, of course.  No big.  Totally prepared to deal with that.  She finally quit hating us for not letting her drive.  Praise God, 'cause that one was tough.  However, I am not ready to deal with the mental aspect of aging.  I don't want to.  I hate it.  She gets so confused sometimes, and she forgets so many things.  She gets angry at us for not telling her things.  But we did.  Usually several times.  It's especially hard on the resident teenager.  She responds by getting angry.  I can understand that.  It's a grief response.  Her grandmother is changing, and that sucks.  Luckily, and believe me when I say I am hanging on to this one, she is not suffering from the BIG A or full on dementia.  This may stink, but it could be so much worse.  I'm starting to accept that I am changing roles with my mom.  I am becoming her caretaker now ... making sure that she is safe and making sure that the important things are monitored and remembered.  Not fun, but it is part of the circle of life, and I can't change that.
  • The whole political thing has made life stressful.  Our state is facing a recall vote on some education reforms that were rushed through the legislature in 2011.  I've been writing about that in other venues, and I've been speaking out about the foolishness of these laws.  I have to tell you, I have seen some true ugliness from people I thought knew better.  Teachers have been demonized and villified.  Very demoralizing. 
  • The resident 14 year-old ballerina is dancing non-stop.  She is now working as a teaching assisstant at her studio - her first real job.  She's having a ball, but it sure has complicated our lives when it comes to arranging transportation (she now has to be at the studio before I get home from work) and getting homework done.  There have definitely been a few rough patches, and some poor math grades because she was rushing through assignments, but I think we're getting this under control.  I've discovered that I have to swallow my pride and reach out for help when I need it.  Bless those angels who have come through for me!
  • My three jobs have returned to two for a little while.  My copywriting job for the campground association is a victim of the seasonal nature of the association.  I am actually okay with that.  I can use the extra time ... and we've been having problems with our computer lately.  It's all good.
  • My favorite principal of all time has just been reassigned to the huge new high school that will open next year.  I am thrilled for her.  She's going to do an amazing job.  I am selfishly devastated.  I'm going to miss working with her, and I hate to think about what our school will be like without her.
  • I've been in charge of our school-wide reading incentive program.  Like a fool, I started it off with a huge kickoff assembly that nearly killed me.  Whew!  The good part is that the program is perking right along.  The bad part, it's time to give the kids another "shot in the arm" to keep them going.  Time to pull another rabbit from my hat.
  • Yards and gardens have to be dealt with.  With Sister Kidney Stone, Grandma, and Ballerina Bailee, that has left the kiddo in the mirror to deal.   Ick.  I'd like to say that I'm done, but that would be a baldfaced lie.  I still have some things to do, but I'm forced to working in between snowstorms now.  I'm focused on Monday and Tuesday - with temps around 60 degrees predicted.  I will get this thing done!
  • I have turned into the Scrooge of Halloween.  When my sis asked about what we were going to do about the trick-or-treaters (meaning of course, "What delightful treat will we be passing out this year?"); I replied, "Let's just turn off the porch light."  See?  Really Scroogey!  (Honestly, is that a word?  If not, it should be.)
So, can I get some form of forgiveness?  Something?  Anything?  I promise that I'll attempt to do better.  Don't give up on me.  It could be worse.  I have another blogging friend who hasn't updated since March.  See, I really am not so bad ... by comparison.  Of course, I refuse to acknowledge my other blogging buddies who update every day.  Such overachievers!  Sheesh.
 
 


Sunday, July 15, 2012

A Return to Silliness

I needed the weeks I've been "absent" to deal with life.  Sometimes even a blog is one piece of luggage too many, and it has to do a few round on the carousel.  Hope you enjoyed the ride.

So, what's been up at our household?  Silliness.

Our American Eskimo has decided that he owns the neighborhood ... making all the neighbors, joggers, bicyclists, walkers, and gypsy bands of children the ultimate security threat.   The TSA needs him, as he could easily bark any terrorist into submission.  I may be sending him off to them REAL soon. 

Summer ballet intensive is over, but since we live with a dance addict, dance is not.  Seriously, it's not.  One of my favorite parts of summer consisted of the two months we did NOT have dance.  Silly mom, those days are over.  I knew that we were going to be facing another summer intensive at Ballet West next year, but the resident ballerina has recently discovered there are tons of dance workshops out there.  All of which would be "awesome" to attend.  Right now we're doing a workshop taught by a dancer from Odyssey Dance Theater in Utah.  The blessing is that it is only 2 days a week and is being taught here.  Now she's found another workshop being run by the Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company.  It's in Salt Lake.  I hate Salt Lake.  I hate driving in Salt Lake.  The silliness?  I'll probably be driving in Salt Lake irregardless.  That's what happens when you have a child pursuing a dream.  You suck it up and do silly things.

We went to see "The Amazing Spiderman" the other day.  There's one scene of a fight in a library ... the battle is going on it the background, while in the foreground and old guy in headphones is totally oblivious to what is going on.  Bailee turned to us and said - "It's Grandma!"  I'm glad everyone else was laughing, because we totally cracked up. 

I recently got what amounts to my 4th job.  I'll be working as a copywriter. Ideal, since I can do it on my own time, but it's probably still silly.  I'm hopeful that it will work into something I can do if I ever retire.

Mitt Romney was in Jackson Hole this past week for a fundraiser.  $40,000 a person.  I think that's silly.  Guess I'm crazy, but I keep thinking about how much good that money could do.  Instead, it will be spent on political ads.  And yes, I feel the same about Obama's fundraiser at Sarah Jessica Parker's.  All silly.

We had a brush fire near our house, started by people shooting off illegal fireworks.  Silly.  Stupid too.  We were lucky that the firefighters were able to put it out.

So, we're living the silly life,but we're juggling it all.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

I Have HAD It!

I have had it! 

How often do you find those words on your lips?  I have found them bubbling up to my lips a lot lately, only to clamp my mouth down tight and swallow them down.  Not today.  Today I am letting them pour forth with gusto and absolute frustration.

I have had it!

I am tossing luggage every which way in what can only be termed as an adult temper tantrum.  I should be embarrassed, and if someone was watching this mostly emotional display ... well, I probably would be.  You're getting the filtered version, but I know I am not the only one who feels this way.

I have had it! 

With work.  This year our district gifted us with a pay cut.  They then demanded more work than ever before, including a massive amount of work that must be done during the summer.  Teachers have the summer off?  Not bloody likely!  I always work on my curriculum during the summer, but this year I am putting in 8+ hours a day (including weekends) trying to address all the demands we were sent home with.  We are to master several new programs, redo curriculum alignment, integrate new technology, redo lessons, adapt lessons to meet new common core standards, rewrite assessments, and the list goes on and on.  I feel overwork and very much underappreciated and undercompensated.

I have had it!

With aging.  My own and that of my mother.  My body is becoming an adversary set on punishing me when I push it.  Sadly, my lifestyle seems to involve pushing the bod all the time.  I find these aches and pains irritating, and disheartening.  I am being forced to change some choices I make about how I live my life and how I do things.  I don't want to.  It makes me sad.  Still, this all pales when compared to facing the aging process with my mom (who, thankfully, lives with us).  My mom has always been an active lady, beloved by all who know her, and one of my best examples.  She is suffering from physical issues that make it very difficult for her to do the things she wants to do.  (Um, yes, I know ... familiar territory.)  That makes her frustrated ... and yes, angry.  Unfortunately, the anger often gets vented on members of the family.  We're all beset by the feeling that we cannot do anything right.  It hurts.    What is far worse though, is the mental deterioration we are seeing.  It isn't drastic, but it is there.  This fact alone is breaking my heart.  To see the vital woman I adore and admire beset by confusion, and escalating hearing loss, and forgetfulness is difficult.  We all find ourselves having to repeat things over, and over, and sometimes over again.  We are having to face the fact that driving (which has been limited to a radius of a few miles ... our familiar neighborhood stores and doctors' offices) is probably not going to last much longer.  I find myself making rules about what can and cannot be done while we are at work and school.  I hate this ... for myself and for her.

I have had it!

With judgmental people who think they have the God given right to tell people not only what to do, but what to think.  Their response to differing opinions too often turns to hateful responses that are no less than demeaning and cruel.  Far too many of these people represent the far right members of the Grand Old Party.  Their diatribes are more fitting to 1930s/1940s Germany than today.  That frightens me.  In the past month I have listened to their vitriolic attack on public school and public school teachers - who are personified as socialists and/or communists.  As someone who really knows what goes on within the walls of schools, I cannot imagine anything further from the truth.  Far more indoctrination goes on within the walls of charter schools and home school classrooms.  Public school teachers are far too busy trying to jump through the myriad of hoops NCLB and state legislators have mandated.  Who has the time to waste on overthrowing the government when we have fractions to master? 

I have had it!

With days that are too busy - crammed with the expectations of others.  One can only fit so many things on a "to do" list.  No matter how worthy they may be, there comes a time when you have to say no.  I wish people would be charitable enough to accept a no without feeling compelled to deliver a dose of guilt in an attempt to change it to a yes. 

I have had it!

With the feeling so many of us have that we are not worth loving.  That we are not worth anything.  That there is nothing to live for anymore.  A friend of mine took his own life at the end of April because he believed all those things.  My heart breaks because none of us were able to convince him otherwise.  All he could hear at the end were the voices of a world that dismisses anyone who is not perfect and marching to the common cadence of their drummer.  My darling boy, you were worth more than all the stars in the sky.  You were loved.  You were good enough.  You were worthy enough.  You were precious.  Your different drummer beat out the music of your soul, and that music was a perfect symphony.  I will carry the grief of your choice for the rest of my life ... wishing that I had been able to help you find a better road and the answers you sought but never found.  I am so sorry that I was unable to help you to ignore the blaring cacophony of a world that left you in so much pain.

I've had it ... for today.  Tomorrow I will take a deep breath and try again.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Crabby Comments


I was reading one of my favorite blogs today, and something possessed me to go down and read the comments.  I don't usually do this.  Not because I don't care what other people have to say, but because I usually am functioning on limited time.  Imagine!


Today I wish I had avoided reading those comments.  Well, then again, maybe I am actually glad I did so, because it brought sometime to mind that has been bothering me for quite some time.  If you read blogs or turn to the Internet for quick updates from your local news station you are going to be exposed to comments.  Having a forum for dialogue is a good thing.  It SHOULD be a good thing.  Sadly, these forums aren't.  I think it has something to do with the fact that you have anonymity.  That's really not an excuse though.  Not for what I see.


What I am seeing is a total decent into rudeness.  Civility has taken a backseat to belittling those who do not share our views or dogma.    Many of these comments bypass rudeness entirely, descending straight into hateful, spiteful, and judgmental attacks.  It's beyond sad.  It's beyond embarrassing.  It's shameful and hypocritical (to say the very least).  "You don't believe as I do - so you are, therefore, a bad person, an idiot, and I hate you."  Ewwww.


My query is this,  "Why are so many Americans in attack mode all the time?"  Why is it so impossible for some to agree to disagree?  We can't just disagree anymore.  We have to attack those who disagree with us.  We can't just say "I feel differently about this ... and these are my reasons."  Instead, we attack others with hateful words questioning their morals, beliefs, intelligence, background, and even their right to share space on the same planet as us.  Freedom of speech has become the freedom to be nasty and abusive, the freedom to demean and belittle, the freedom to vent prejudices and ugliness that should cause us to hang our heads in shame.


These attacks vary in virulence, but they are still attacks.  I am curious as to why.  Do we feel THAT threatened by the opposing beliefs of others?  Have we become so narrow that we cannot accept that those we share this planet with do not necessarily share the same opinions and beliefs?  Have we drifted so far from the ideals and aspirations that led to the founding of this country?  It bothers me, and it has been much on my mind as of late.


We've all seen Americans do incredible things in the face of disasters.  It brings out the very best in us.  We reach out to one another.  We act on our most noble proclivities.  It's tragic that it takes a disaster for us to become the people we should be.  Imagine the impact this country would have if we behaved in "disaster mode" without a disaster?  It would be something truly amazing.


I suppose this post is an appeal for us to respond to one another with civility and respect.  Is that really asking so much?


Here's a case in point.  Yesterday our outdoor section ran a feature article in which the author decried some hunters publishing a photo of a wolf they had trapped.   

thttp://www.postregister.com/story.php?accnum=1083-04052012&today=2012-04-05&keywords=wolf+trapping

The photo was horrifying.  The author complained that the photo was going viral, and that it would be used by environmentalists in their arguments against trapping.  That was his protest.  It makes trapping look bad.


Wolves are a hot button issue in our region.  Tempers flare, and people on both sides get ugly.  It gets us nowhere.  I'll admit that my blood pressure rose and I was upset by this.  I could blow up and go postal on anyone who disagrees with me.  And this would accomplish ... what?  Absolutely nothing.  We would just end up more polarized than before.  Instead, here's a reaction that I think would be more in line with what I've been talking about in this post.


We've all grown up with Disney's version of animals and nature.  We are ingrained to view the natural world interpreted through personification.  We apply human attributes and qualities to our natural world.  Our natural world is not subject to Disney's Law though, it follows nature's law.  An animal behaves a certain way because instinct has wired it to do so.  It is neither "good"  nor  "evil."  It is just instinct.  A carnivore kills other animals to survive.  It is neither cruel nor kind.  It merely act on its instinct.  Mankind is the only animal which acts on moral principles and choice as opposed to instinct.  That places a higher expectation on us as a species.  We have become the stewards of our natural world.  We, more than any other species, have the power to impact our environment on a large scale.  It is a power that demands responsibility.


We all approach this issue from different places.  Rancher, hunter, environmentalist, and the average Joe all have opinions.  This photo seems to have upset many people, and for many different reasons.  Perhaps we should ask, "Is this offensive because it was photographed and exploited (by both sides), or is it offensive because we are responding to the trapping itself?  We all have different views.  Some wish for the complete eradication of wolves.  Some preach coexistence.  There are as many points of view as there are people. 


Our task, as humans, is perhaps to find some common ground that is reasonably acceptable to the greatest number of people.  Are there other forms of control that would not be seen as so cruel?  Are there measures we could take to control wolf pack territories?  Are there protections which could be put in place for areas which border those territories?  Are there more humane alternatives to population control?  Have we looked into alternative measures - be it spaying and neutering of pack members, use of herd dogs to protect herds, electronic barriers, etc.? 


Perhaps this photo is a signal to all of us that we need to come back to the table and share solutions that exist in the middle ground.  We need to approach this issue in a spirit of compromise and respect for views which differ from our own.  Let's set aside trying to prove that our opinion is right and everyone else is wrong.  Instead, let us objectively look at this problem and find a solution that we all can live with.


Compromise and respect for the beliefs of others.  It used to be something Americans prided themselves on.  Is it something we've rejected, or have we merely forgotten how to do so?

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Teaching

I'm on spring break this week.  No kids, just a huge list of things to do that I don't have the time to do when I am working.  Of course, school figures prominently on that list too.  I'm rewriting my lesson plans to include a unit on bullying.  My students have been treating one another like noxious weeds.  Fifth graders (especially the girls) tend to get nasty in the spring.  Hormones are raging ... but I think a great deal has to do with the fact that they are finally aware of the fact that they are about to leave childhood behind.  They will leave elementary school and go on to middle school.  It's a new world for them.  They're excited about it.  They can't wait.  And they are scared spitless.  Hence, they tend to take out the fear they can't admit to (which would negatively impact their coolness factor - a big deal in middle school) on everyone else.  I am growing up.  I'm excited to grow up.  I don't know if I'm ready to grow up.  I'm afraid of growing up.  I can't admit to being afraid.  Because sometimes, just sometimes, I don't WANT to grow up.  All I can do is act out - so I do. 


Some of my teaching colleagues usually will sigh, roll their eyes at some time during April or May and say - "This is why I don't teach sixth grade."  This is also why some animals eat their young, but that's another story which will not be dealt with here.


I'm also updating my websites, getting lessons together, planning, and - WAIT!  I'm on vacation!  What am I doing?  I guess it all brings out the truth of this quote -


The best part of teaching is that it matters.

The hardest part of teaching is that every moment matters,

every day.

-Todd Whitaker



This is also why I laugh maniacally when someone talks about teachers "having the whole summer off."  I work just as hard during the summer (though I do get to choose the when and where) as I do during the school year.  Do you seriously think we can be pull off what we do during the year without that time of intense preparation?  No one can juggle all those tasks we are required to "keep flying" without putting in the prep work.  So, do yourself a favor and never comment about summers off to your teaching friends.  You might just find yourself in need of a full set of dentures.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Adoption

If you knew me, you'd know my opinion about adoption.  I am a huge fan.  How can you not be a fan of something which brought a person like this into your life?


Bailee entered our lives in 1998, following the death of our first adoption referral (the orphanage in Vietnam was hit by malaria).  We still consider Eilish as our first child, because, even though we only held her picture in our hands, we already loved her.  It was very painful for us, especially since so many people around us did not understand the grief we felt.  After all - she wasn't really ours yet.  We'd never held her in our arms.  Only our friends who suffered through miscarriages understood how our empty arms hurt.


We received our referral for Bailee months later.  Her picture seemed to cry out - "Love me!"  We did.  Instantly.  We will always be eternally grateful to Bailee's birthmother.  She was in her 40s, widowed, working in the rice paddies, living with her sister's family, and already had three older sons.  She wanted a better life for her daughter.  In an incredible bit of bravery, she confided that she wanted her to be raised to pray to Jesus.  She did this at great personal risk, and I was forever impressed by her deep love for her daughter AND her courage.  I pray that she and her family have been greatly blessed for their sacrifice and charity to us.


The past thirteen years have been an incredible journey and a greater blessing than I can even begin to describe.  Bailee is the center and joy of our lives.  She has grown into a beautiful and caring young woman with many accomplishments.  I hope that we have fulfilled our commitment to her birthmother.


There's always a great deal of controversy when it comes to adoption, abortion, and keeping a child when one is faced with an unwanted pegnancy.  I just want to say that putting a child up for adoption may be the greatest gift a young man and woman can give to those who desire a child and are unable to do so on their own.  I wish more people would consider it as an option.  It was the answer to all our hopes and dreams, and it allowed a little girl to have the life her birthmother wanted for her.




I'm hoping that somewhere out there, someone will read this and be influenced to read and share the following website:


http://oshinandtraceysadoptionjourney.blogspot.com/


Tracey and Oshin are wonderful people who are just beginning their adoption journey.  I hope that this post will help them to connect with someone who can help them achieve their dreams too.


Saturday, March 31, 2012

A Bumpy Ride with Ugly Luggage



WOW!  Bailee's illness turned out to be strep.  She missed four days of school and dance, which means she was one VERY sick little girl.  She became a slug/couch potato and slept most of the time.  She was miserable.  Her grandmother came down with bronchitis, so she was also ill (but thankfully not as bad as Bailee).


Of course, I caught both bugs.  At the same time.  I do not do things half way.  Just because I'm me, and I get dehydrated easily when I am ill and running a fever, I also got an ugly UTI.  My body has been my worst enemy for nearly two weeks.  I am starting to feel better now, but my energy level is down.  Way down.  Unfortunately, expectations on me have gone up.  Who is in charge of that stuff?  I was very thankful to have the coming week off for spring break (my daughter's school district had last week off - which I found stupid).  I woke up this morning with a side ache.  On my right side.  Yeah, you can probably guess where my thoughts went.  Sheesh!  Needless to say, I decided to pass on working at the studio on costume and set clean up this morning.  My daughter was fine with that (she still went, along with my sister), but my sister and mother are not happy with me.  There will be a sign-up sheet for others who are displeased circulating ... please feel free to sign.


Which comes to today's topic - expectations.  Some of us have low expectations, others have high expectations.  For ourselves.  For others.  Honestly, I have pretty high expectations for myself.  I worked at the shop last night, then came home and did three hours of work on the studio website.  Today I'll be working on preparations for spring registration (brochures, fliers, ads, etc.).  I will also correct papers, plan lessons for April, work on AIMS Web, and Safari Montage lessons.  Somewhere in there I will clean house, make bread, and plan and prepare dinners for the week.  Oh, and then there's the garden to plan and yardwork to think about.  See ... I am NOT a slouch. 


My frustration stems from people who decide I am a slouch because I let one of my pieces of luggage stay on the carousel today.  Why are we so harsh with others?  Why do we feel the need to judge others? 


Lest you think I am an angel in this regard, I'll admit to getting frustrated when I feel others have dropped the ball.  I am irked when my students don't study for tests or complete assignments.  I am cranky when people show up late, or miss appointments.  I sigh deeply when people I am depending on don't do the things they agreed to do. 


This all brings me to this observation.  Do I know their stories?  Do I know what is going on in their life?  Do I know how many balls they're trying to juggle or how many pieces of luggage they're trying to keep track of?  The honest truth is - I don't.  If I don't know all the struggles they are facing, what makes me think I am in a position to judge them?  Honestly, it's a right I don't have.  I don't like it when others judge me, so why do I turn around and do the same thing?


I'm not saying I'm going to drop expectations I have for other people.  However, I think from now on I will try to have a little more understanding.  Before rushing to judgment, I'm going to seek out the "rest of the story" and exhibit the compassion I would like to be given.  After all ... we're all fighting a hard battle.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

A to Z

I'm a teacher.  I like surveys.  This one, courtesy of Janetha from Meals and Moves was most appealing.  It fits with my Saturday mood, so here goes ...

A is for age: 55, which sounds old to me.  I don't feel that old, nor do I act that old.  I have a 13 year-old, so old is not an option.  I also teach fifth graders, so I don't even know how to do old.  This is a good think.  Old doesn't have much to recommend it. 


B is for breakfast today: Chocolate chip pancakes.  I know.  Terrible - but they are #1 on my comfort food parade ... and my sick daughter asked for them today.  Poor baby.  I can deny her nothing when she's sick.


C is for currently craving: Grain burgers that I used to make back in the day.  The mix I used has disappeared from the organic foods section of the store, so I am on a quest to either find it on the Internet, or recreate it on my own.


D is for dinner tonight: Probably homemade pizza, or whatever the sick child requests.  She may want the kale soup I made last week, as she loved it.  I could go for that.


E is for favorite type of exercise: Swimming or biking.  Neither of which I can really do right now, but spring is on the way.


F is for an irrational fear: High bridges.  They absolutely freak me out.  Especially the high bridge over a chasm on the way from Mammoth to Tower Falls in Yellowstone Park.  I blame it for starting the whole bridge terror thing.


G is for gross food: Anything slimy.  I have horrible memories of these hamburgers my mom fried that had this gray slimy coating on them.  I don't know how she did it, but the memory still makes me shudder.


H is for hometown: Livingston, Montana.  It was a great place to grow up, and really beautiful.  I have the best memories of the mountains, the smell of pine trees, and the best star-gazing sky in the world.  I ran the hills and woods as a kid and did some absolutely ridiculous things.  It was great!


I is for something important: My family.  Always the top priority, even when they make me crazy.


J is for current favorite jam: Raspberry.  It reminds me of summers in my grandmother's raspberry patch in Minnesota.


K is for kids: Beautiful ballerina Bailee.  She's the most fantastic 13 year-old I know.  I am her biggest fan.  How did I ever get so lucky to have her in my life.  I also have a "son," Caribou ... a crazy American Eskimo dog.  He's a teenager too, but not nearly as civilized as his "sister."  I also have several other "dance daughters."


L is for current location: Our living room. 


M is for the most recent way you spent money:  Gas.  How painful!  I do lots of commuting and hauling, so the current gas prices have a big impact on me.  Today I'll be investing in Jamba Juice smoothies and an iced chai at Starbucks as well.  That sounds much better than liquefied dinosaurs.


N is for something you need: More time.  Maybe a new job.


O is for occupation: I teach fifth grade.  I love the teaching part, but hate the other crap.  Teachers in Idaho have been totally disenfranchised, so it's been pretty rough.  We get treated like garbage.  Hence the comment in N.


P is for pet peeve:   People who have children and then ignore them, putting their own agenda first.  If you can't put your child higher on your priorities, get a pet rock.  They won't care if you treat them with total disregard.


Q is for a quote:   This week - "Would you like the knife you just stabbed in my back returned, or do you intend to just leave it there?"  from FRAZIER.  This totally relates to some decisions made by our school board this week which are not only stupid, but abusive.


R is for random fact about you: I hate Idaho.  A lot.


S is for favorite healthy snack: Kale chips.


T is for favorite treat: Coconut M and Ms.  Coconut frapps from Starbucks.


U is for something that makes you unique: I'm a teacher, a writer, a web designer, and I'm on the staff at a ballet studio/dance shop.


V is for favorite vegetable:  Asparagus and kale.


W is for today’s workout: Chasing ballerinas around.


X is for X-rays you’ve had:   Too many to name thanks to sprains and several broken bones.


Y is for yesterday’s highlight: Coming how from work at the dance shop to find three dancers at my house making cupcakes, doing their nails, and getting hugs from all of them.


Z is for your time zone:   Mountain.  I have mixed feelings about the switch to daylight savings time.  I like the additional light at night, but I also like the early sunrise.  I hate the way the kids act though.  They're zombies for weeks afterward.


So - that's my alphabet soup.  I'm now off to medicate my child.  I then have to ferry dancers to a benefit performance for an all access playground.  It's only one dance, so I'm hoping we can get Bailee through it.  That's the rough part about dance - when you're missing a girl in a routine the whole dance falls apart.  Time for essential oils and home remedies ... then a trip to the doc if she doesn't improve.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

An Open Letter to Parents

Dear Parents,


I am your child's teacher.  We've never met.  I have received notes and e-mails from you on occasion, so I know you exist.  I just have a few things I wanted to mention to you.

  1. There is a difference between giving a child life and giving a child A LIFE.  I wish you understood that.  A child needs to be cared for, talked to (not at), and valued.  Once you bring a child into the world, your agenda should move down in your list of priorities.
  2. Things don't take the place of love or time.
  3. Your child is a child, not a mini adult.  They need your involvement in their life.  Children make lousy parents.  I wish yours was not trying to raise themself on a diet of video games, junk food, and television.  Parenting is a hands-on, dirty job.  Suck it up and DO IT!
  4. Take an interest in your child's education.  You are part of a team.  Please play your part.  Its inconvenient and messy, yes, but vital.  Look on it as a sound investment if that helps.  You can help junior be successful now, or you can support the little darling for the rest of their life. 
  5. Be an advocate for your child, but please don't step in and try to prevent them from experiencing the natural consequences for their behavior.  If you think your child "would never do that," you are probably wrong. 
  6. Sending nasty notes or e-mails to the teacher will never make a situation better.  Screaming at them on the phone is also not helpful.
  7. Your child will not die if they are asked to do hard things.  They will find that they have the capacity to do hard things.  Once they know that, the world is theirs. 
  8. Don't raise your child to believe they are "entitled" to anything.  Anything worth having is worth working for.
  9. Self esteem doesn't come from praise or gold stars, it comes from facing challenges and overcoming them.  It also comes from failing, and having the courage to get up and try again.
  10. Pay attention.  "Life moves pretty fast," as Ferris Bueller said," and if you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Family Traditions - Bow Wow Wow!

We all have interesting "traditions" in our families that haven't got thing one to do with holidays.  I look on them as the quirkier aspects of our humanity - but they're certainly a lot of fun.  I was thinking about those traditions today while our family was watching -


This tradition was started by my dad when he found himself with access to more cable channels.  Yes, the man was born to surf with a remote in his hand.  His surfing (and those cable channels) led us to interesting places.  He exposed us to travel shows, nature shows, Japanese monster movies, anime, shows about history, shows about science, and of course THE WESTMINSTER KENNEL CLUB DOG SHOW. 


We love dogs.  We've had many in our lives - and many breeds.  Dad started off with an Irish setter.  My mom had a collection of mutts that ended up on their farm (the most infamous being Rambler who was born, of course, in a Dodge Rambler - back seat).  As children, we shared our lives with a schnauzer, a doberman/rottweiller mix, a border collie, a sheltie, a cockapoo, a pomapoo, a maltypoo, and an American eskimo dog.  We adored them all.


Watching the dog show became a tradition.  Once we left the nest, my dedicated dad would avail
himself of his phone services and call us.  "The dog show is on!"  It was a call to arms.  We'd tune in, then discuss our observations later.  We all had certain dogs and breeds we rooted for.  It was fun to share this bonding activity when we were so far apart.  When my parents relocated by us (a grandchild is quite a temptation), the traditions continued.  Sometimes we watched together.  Sometimes we watched separately.  Regardless, that phone call always came like clockwork -  "The dog show is on!"


My dad passed away over ten years ago.  The call from him doesn't come anymore, but we will still join together.  "The dog show is on!"  Now we not only enjoy the dogs and the show, we also remember our dad and all those memories we shared.  Traditions are pretty cool.


Hey Dad - what do you think? 

Saturday, February 4, 2012

About that luggage ...





Whenever a pause presents itself, it is usually due to the fact that I'm dealing with that luggage of mine.  Packing it, unpacking it, hauling it from here to there - in other words:  doing my job as sherpa.  This all started as a joke when daughter Bailee was a baby.  I'll admit that I probably overdid it with the diaper bag.  I think I could have dealt with a battalion of babies besides my own.  Somehow, over the years, I became the very sherpa we joked about.


Here's a look at this week's luggage:

  • My sister had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics she was given for a severe sinus infection.  Think hives on steroids and you have the picture.  Very scary.  It required another visit to the doctor and mass quantities of Mountain Dew.  Odd to have it prescribed as a medication ... but it packed just enough caffeine to speed the remaining antibiotics through her system.   Wicked.  I'm going to put that down as another reason why I don't drink pop. 

  • My mother went in to the dermatologist to have this tiny, lentil-sized bump on her leg checked.  We've been nagging her about getting it checked out for around ten days now.  She's quite prone to skin cancer (thanks to a misspent youth on the lakes of Minnesota and her garden in Montana), so we take any skin abnormalities very seriously.  The PA touched the bump and it exploded in his face, spraying blood everywhere.  Not to be overly graphic, but she began hemorrhaging.  They ran for the surgeon and got Mom to the surgical suite, where they clamped off the vein, got the bleeding under control, and then took stitches.  Turns out that sh had a blood clot in a surface vein.  Luckily clots in those veins are supposed to be non-life-threatening.  Unfortunately, the doctor informed her that if she had been home alone, she would have bled to death.  That left us all pretty shaken.  However, we are so grateful that she was blessed to be in exactly the right place at exactly the right time!  Now we're going to make sure this does not happen again.

  • Against my will (and my request for clemency), I was placed on a committee to rewrite our elementary level report cards.  Our district is doing away with grades and instead will use a standards-based format that will rate students as Below Basic, Developing, or Proficient on each skill.  We're using the Common Core Standards (along with 32 other states in the consortium we bought into it), so that will be the skills we evaluate on.  Please consider the following - we have about 200 standards for each grade level.  They are each written in edu-jargon.  Somehow, we have to simplify them AND rewrite them so that parents will understand them.  Oh, and did I tell you that they've given us until Monday night to do so?   Very few of the teachers are on board with this new idea, and this idea has NOT been run by the parents at all.  This new method will be a logistical nightmare for teachers - adding a massive amount of testing and paperwork on people who are already overworked and stressed out.  It takes a lot of guts to ask this of people who had their pay frozen for five years AND then cut for the past two years.  I've gone online and done a great deal of reading about this method of grading, and I have found that it tends to be quite unpopular with parents.  Many of the districts that tried it have been forced to scrap the whole thing as a result of parent protests.  My opinion?  I can't believe that we're wasting time and money changing something that really isn't broken during hard economic times.  I also NEVER approve of anything that is "rushed through."  I want to see some research on this, hear how it is to be implemented, and see actual software that they promise will help teachers to managed evaluating students on so many diverse standards.  I have too many questions to feel good about this.  However, we were all told to get on board or look for jobs elsewhere.  Nice.

  • This coming week I'm working an extra day at the shop due to the fact that the owner is going down to Ballet West with some of the girls who are auditioning for their summer intensive program.  That's a touchy topic.  My daughter wanted to go, since her best buddy is going to try out, and the owner wanted her to try out as well.  We're the mean parents who decided it was too expensive and that, at age 13, she was too young to spend several weeks in another state living in the university dorms.  She's already going to do a three week summer intensive about an hour away.  Right now, that's all we can afford.  I'm thankful that we haven't had much teenage drama over this.  She's disappointed, but she's accepted our decision.  Did I say I'm thankful? 

  • With the busy week I just had, I was hoping that the house cleaning fairies would have payed a visit.  They didn't.  More luggage.  All of it dirty.  Goody!  I'm off to do some juggling.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

These are a few of my favorite things ...

It's late on a Saturday, but tonight I thought I'd do a list of some of my favorite things.  A tribute of sorts to Janetha of Meals and Moves, a girl who loves her lists. 

1.     Snow (in its season).  I'm a seasonal kind of girl.  When it's winter, I want to see snow.  I seriously believe that winter (and that fluffy form of precip) is nature's way of saying "Will you slow down already?" 




2.  Iced Chai Tea (Tazo Tea from Starbucks esp.)  There's something about that combination of spices that is just so comforting to me!  It is my weekend endulgence.  Frankly, I just love Starbucks.  I like their attitude, I like curling up by their fireplace, and I like the people who wander through the door.  They have the nicest baristas in town.




3.     Studio One's dancers.   I spend most of my time with them.  One of them is mine.  I think they're wonderful.  In a world that seems to encourage girls to be cutthroat and competitive, these girls are all about lifting one another to be their best.  You've gotta love that.



4.     Snow days.  There's nothing quite as much fun as waking up and then hearing that schools are closed for the day.  It's like this incredible gift of time.  Time to put something in the crockpot, curl up by the fireplace, and revel in coziness.




5.     Old Movies.   I love TCM.  Give me Cary Grant over Hugh Grant any day. 



6.     My daughter.   We spent such a fun day together today, and then she went in to work with me tonight.  How did I ever get so lucky?


7.  Blogs and Bloggers.  Yup, I like them.  I'm a fan of several,  in particular  Peas and Thank You, Danica's Daily, and Meals and Moves










Have a great Sunday!

Monday, January 16, 2012

The Vernicious Van


When it runs ... I like it.  It does well on the snow, and it has pretty decent gas mileage for the behemoth it is.  It has ferried 7 ballerinas down to summer intensive classes for three years.  It has its good points - none of which would stop me from taking a bazooka to its engine block today ... if I had a bazooka.


This 2003 Chrysler Town and Country is the bane of my existence.  It is certainly the bane of my checkbook.  Every year it seems to require a big ticket visit to the mechanic.  Usually every six months.  I may as well be honest about it.  We've done the fuel pump,tires, an AC flush and recharge, new battery, brakes, and ... oh, it's too depressing.  This time around it is the air compressor, which has a bad bearing.  The compressor has had issues before, but so long as I didn't use the AC we were able to limp along just fine.  Hot, but fine.  The darned thing has taken the fatal leap now though. The compressor has to be replaced to the tune of $800.  It can't be driven until it is.


Not a good situation for someone who has to commute to work each day in an area with next to zero mass transit in the city.  Forget about the school out in the boonies where I teach.  Not a good situation in a family that has only two cars.  Car #2 is a 1992 Ford Explorer ... or the Battle Wagon as we refer to it.  It is a major threat to the environment (and to my checkbook), given its love affair with gasoline.  NOT the vehicle anyone in their right mind would use to commute in.  (Not the vehicle anyone in their right mind would purchase either, but that's another story.)


So, payday is still days away.  Don't know where the $800 is going to come from.   Joy, joy, joy.  The suggestion was made that I get a new car.  Tempting, but who has the money for another car payment?  Not me.  Besides, at the rate I'm going, I'm replacing this car part by part. 


I wonder how much a bazooka costs?

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Second Job

My full time job is teaching fifth grade.  I'll probably talk a great deal about that in the future, but today I want to talk about job #2.  On Fridays and Saturdays I work at a dancewear shop.  It's usually a pretty laid back job.  I have time to correct papers after I clean, organize the stock, deal with customers etc.  (This is the dead season for dance.  Our busy times of the year are the fall  (getting everyone decked out for the year of dance) and the spring (when everyone is prepping for recitals).  It's a pretty good second job ... except when my daughter visits and sees things that she adores.  I usually try to avoid that by having her make up a list of what she needs.  Keeping her out of the shop is much easier on my checkbook.  Although this week she sent a list for short leg warmers and a black Body Pop top.  Yes, I am thankful for our 20% discount.


Due to the closure of the only dance shop in the REGION that fit and sold pointe shoes, the owner of our shop has decided that the time is right to start carrying them.  She went to Florida to learn how to fit the shoes, the benefits of certain shoes for certain types of feet and a myriad of other "pointe shoe mysteries."  When she came home, she brought sample shoes and brochures home with her.  We're going through a crash course on pointe shoes right now.  None of the staff will be doing the fitting (yet), but it's important that one is educated when working in retail.  Right?  You bet!



I've learned a great deal in the past week -
  • If a pointe shoe is not correctly fitted, the ballerina can easily break an ankle.  Umm ... seriously?  That doesn't exactly support buying pointe shoes online, does it?  Major guilt!  To my credit, Bailee did have fittings in the spring and fall.  I had no desire to drive 90 miles in our winter weather ... so we purchased her winter replacements online.  I had no idea what went into assuring that a girl has the proper fit.  Each foot has to be evaluated for type (more on that in a sec), and choices have to be made regarding the box, width, crown, vamp, shank (strength and length),  platform, and throat.  The fitter has to evaluate the type of shoe which is appropriate for the girl's ability, flexibility, arch, and the type of dance she is involved in.  This is a real science, folks!  My mind spins after reading through all the literature we received from So Danca (the shoes we will be carrying). 
  • There are several types of feet.  Did you know there were types of feet?  I didn't.  Well, I guess I knew there were stinky and not-so-stinky feet ... but other than that, nope.   I'll admit that every foot has it's distinctive personality and look, but I certainly never thought about classification of said feet.  The three main classifications were the Greek Foot (where the second toe is longer than the big toe), the Square Foot (where the toes are squared off), and the Egyptian Foot (where the toes slant diagonally down).
  • It seems that all ballerinas from ages 7-10 are rabid to get "on pointe" like the big girls.  I knew that in order for a girl to go on pointe that the growth spaces in the foot had to be almost closed, AND that the ballet mistress had to give her permission.  There's more though ... there has to be a sufficient natural arch in the foot, the dancer has to have good strength in the ankles, knees, and lower back muscles (that's where the ballet mistress comes in), and there can be no hereditary deformity of the feet, knees, or back.  It's difficult to think that a girl could come so far in dance and then have to abandon the option of going on pointe.
  • Point shoes have to provide correct arch and metatarsal support.  They also have to facilitate "rolling" up and down from Pointe, and assist the dancer in establishing a central point of balance when on her toes.

It all spins my head a bit, but it's good to know.  The learning curve on this whole dance journey has been pretty steep.  Who knew I'd need to know all this stuff?


Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Final Goodbye

Mike's funeral was today.  His family did a fabulous job of honoring him.  I really admire the courage it took for them to share their tender memories and feelings.  There were, of course, lots of tears.  His loss has had a profound effect on everyone who knew him.  There was so much love there ... you could really feel the impact this simple man had made on the world. 


There was also a great deal of laughter.  Mike had a wonderful sense of humor, and you couldn't really talk about him without sharing that part of his life as well. 


Some of the things that were shared included:

  • The famous "milk runs" he made, taking at least one child along.  It was always a special time between father and child, and always included a special treat (that had to be eaten before they got home so the other siblings wouldn't be jealous).
  • Practical jokes he played as a boy ... usually involving dead snakes and his mother (luckily those farm women were made of pretty tough stuff).
  • When his son's asked him about who wore the pants in their family, he said,  "I wear the pants in our family ... but your mom tells me which ones to wear."
  • On a trip to Mongolia (to visit his daughter-in-law's parents), he was honored at a local ceremony and was given fermented mare's milk to drink.  He bravely downed the whole glass - only to discover that in Mongolia this was a sign that more was desired.  He was happily presented with a second glass, but he made sure to leave this glass unfinished.
  • He delighted his grandchildren by announcing "Let's all have some kickapoo joy juice!"  None of the grandkids knew what it meant ... other than the fact that it meant more fun with grandpa, and they would pile on him with squeals of delight.
  • The millions of acts of service Mike performed, always putting others first, and doing so quietly.
  • The depth of love and respect he had for his wife, and how he taught his sons to respect and appreciate women.
  • The tender memories of his last days ...



Mike played a huge role in so many people's lives.  His life was truly a testament to the effect a good man, doing the right thing, can have on the world.