Special Needs

As a teacher, I hear this term every day.  Often many times a day.  Today, it means something so much more than just a child who needs a great deal of help and a different approach in order to be successful.


Today I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine.  Four years ago, she and her husband adopted a special needs child.  They have become tireless advocates for their son.  It breaks my heart that they have to be.  They constantly have to fight with their local school to get him the help and care he needs.  Frankly, as an educator, I can tell you that they have the makings for the mother of all lawsuits.  Their child has been referred to as "a pain in the butt,"  "difficult to work with," and "a behavior problem" on documentation.  Yes, you may now reel in disbelief. 


They are something that this particular district hates - informed parents.  They know their rights.  They know their child's rights.  They try to work within the system, but the system in this district has failed them.  The special education staff has not only treated them with disrespect, they have determined to make it nearly impossible for this child and his family to be successful.  They call meetings and testing times with little to no warning and at ridiculous times.  Quite frankly, they do whatever they can to make things as hard as they can ... all the while denying this child the services he needs.


All this makes me sick.  I find it offensive and horrible and just plain nasty.  It has made me ashamed of the educators involved, for I know they know better.


Today, the story took on another turn.  This time involving a situation at church.  Their son has been ignored during the children's classes on Sunday.  He is allowed to do whatever he wants, so long as he is not disruptive.  He is not included in the lessons or activities.  This has weighed heavily on my friend's heart.  She knows that her son is capable of learning, and feels that he needs to learn about God and his Savior.  Toward that end, she and her husband requested that a helper be arranged to work with their son during class ... to help him to be more involved.  This request was granted, and the helper is excited about working with their son.  Wonderful, right?  Happy ending.


Unfortunately, it didn't end there.  Since their request, they have ostracized by many members of their congregation AND their church leadership.  What a blow!  For now, they are determined to stick things out, praying that this situation will improve and that people will come to accept their son.  For now.  If this does not occur, they are facing the prospect of leaving their church and finding somewhere else to worship.  They have been talking to other parents, and have found that this is not an isolated occurrence.


As a Christian, this has broken my heart.  How sad when we become hearers of the word, but not followers of the word.  This has helped me to see that my faith must be more than skin deep.  It must penetrate to the very center of my heart ... I cannot be satisfied to be a hearer, or a follower.  I must live the gospel with every breath I take.


This has also gotten me thinking about special needs.  So often we merely concentrate on the educational needs of the child.  It is really so much more.  A special needs child has needs on many levels ... acceptance, respect, the chance to be all that they can be in every facet of their life, including their spiritual life.  Plus, we must never forget that a special needs child has a family with special needs as well.  They are weary with the daily fight they must wage for their little one.  They need support, understanding, respect, and compassion.

I want to remember all this and engrave it on my heart